Grandmother in the books I read I know
You never had the chance to read the books I read
but in the books I read
The theologians argue we sleep between
death and the new life on the new Earth we don’t go to Heaven
No singing hymns forever
You sleep and you won’t wake
Confused your strength will come back you won’t choke
Because you have forgotten how to swallow grand-
mother remember
you were hungry
My mother even as she fed you
knew you would someday die choking
Even as she watched you swallow
And live swallow and live swallow and live
How could you have loved God in Heaven
Who loves who seeks to
Be spared by love
The Revisions
First Draft
The Theologians Argue
Grandmother everybody / Has written poems
better than the poems I write for you
but grand- / mother you have no choice
Or if your prayers
were not mistaken no
Choice I would
understand / And my prayers also now
But in my prayers you have no choice
Grandmother you are in my prayers
and in the books I read
The theologians argue for a sleep between
Death and new life
no time in heaven
hugging or even praising God
Or cursing God for really
The only thing God could have done / Or God
could have done nothing
grand- / mother are you awake
and do you know the answer now
did we have to be born
Intermediate Draft
The Theologians Argue
Grandmother everybody / Has written poems
better than the poems I write for you
but grand- / mother you have no choice
Or if your prayers were not mistaken no
Choice I would understand / And my prayers also now
But in my prayers you have no choice / Grandmother you are in my prayers
and in the books I read I know
You never read these books
grandmother I remember
The books you read and do not read them
And in the books I read
the theologians argue
for a sleep between
Death and new life no stop in heaven
Or if we stop we’re only resting and no hymns forever
a / Sleep and we do not wake
Confused our strength comes back to us we do not choke
Trying to remember how to swallow
Grandmother you were hungry and even as they fed you
The nurses feeding you
knew you would die choking